GLAMMER ME!

This is me, in comic form! ok so its how I wish I looked lol.. we can all have dreams right!

Update on life

Well its been a while as usual, I always seem to forget about this thing. I am writing because I have problems as usual, my daughter had tubes put in her ears last august and her adenoids removed.. well last thursday she came home sick from preschool running a high fever and complaining that her right ear hurt..so guess what, yep her right ear tube has come out! While I know this is normal, its very frustrating at the same time, so we took her to the ENT yesterday(thats how we know the tube is out) and her ear is full of fluid again! She has been running a fever for 6 days now from 99.9-102.7, I have been giving her the usual ibuprofen/tylenol alternation encouraging fluids, and she is just not getting better. The doctor states that she will need to be seen again in atleast a month, thats when our follow up is scheduled for, but sooner if she does not get better and at that point we will decide what to do about her tubes, whether or not to proceed forward with a revision. She is more than likely going to need the tubes replaced, as she has suffered with ear infections since she was 7 months old, and they were only better when the tubes were both in and functioning.. so now I have to watch her suffer because the doctor wants to "give her body a chance to heal itself" I don't understand that, well I do and I don't! yes I know the body can do amazing things but at the same time given her history, I feel that why make her wait, she is having to miss preschool, I have had to miss work both of which are not good. I have decided that I will be calling the doctor by this coming Friday if she is not better and asking them to move forward sooner than later... and all this comes when we have a vacation planned at the end of April! Why couldn't those tubes just hold out until after vacation.. no seriously I just want her better and if she needs the tubes in her ears for now until her natural tubes in her ears start working.. then so be it..

A new year

Hello all, its been a long time since I wrote on this, seems I took a year and a half off; but I am to return and vent on here, its been a long time coming.. The holiday's are over, they were good, my daughter who is 4 now had a blast! I wish that my husband would have been more excited about the Holiday's, and I really wish he would have taken atleast one picture with his daughter, if not for him then for her to have memories when he is gone. Well until next time, as I dont have much time right now, I will be seeing you soon~

A COMA... WHAT ELSE IS GOING TO HAPPEN?

another path we have just explored another side effect of the husbands meds,,, a 4.5 day coma. My husband did not know where he was, who he was, he would not talk to you, and when he did it didnt make any sense. So I stopped all his meds, yes I know could have had serious side effects however, I felt it was a life or death situation. I have worked around and with psych meds for sometime now. I have worked closely with psychiatrist, I called one of my friends who is a ARNP, class II specializing in psychiatric conditions and she told me if he is like that, and he is still breathing with good vitals, to stop the meds, #1 he cant swallow, #2 his body is trying to detoxify itself, #3 he is have very bad adverse/life threatening reaction. So here we go, I am monitoring his blood pressure every 2-4 hours around the clock, taking his pulse, respirations whenever I see him, and his temp with his pulse and B/P... and by the hands of GOD we made it through it.. he woke up....

The wake up was strange at first, I had of course been in touch with his primary psychiatrist and all the bitchy wife/receptionist would say "is you already have an appointment on August 4th", and I told her.. "HE COULD BE DEAD BY THEN!" So in her nice rude tone she said "if you think he is going to die then take him to the hospital." I said, "no I dont think THAT now he has woken up finally, however the medications he is on and the dosages are making him VERY SICK". She proceeded to tell me that my appointment was 8/4/08 and to make sure we tell the doctor all of this. I was so upset I said so " you mean when one of his patient's calls the office in crisis you dont tell him?" she said " no, not if its already resolved and yours sounds resolved." and she hung up.

I was Pissed off.. I could not even think of what to do, I was just standing in my kitchen dumbfounded. Never in my life had I been treated like that and I vowed never to be treated like that again, unless of course its a doctors office I deal with at work they are always cranky, its expected, But this is my Husbands doctor, WE PAY HIM!!! SO I called my friend back!
SHE ASKED ME EXACTLY WHAT HIS MEDS WERE AND HIS PRESCRIBED DOSAGES, THEN SHE DID SOMETHING I DID NOT EXPECT, SHE SAID WHAT DO YOU THINK, I TOLD HER I THINK HE NEEDS A LOT OF THE ANTI-PSYCHOTICS CUT OR SERIOUSLY LOWERED AND BUILT UP SLOWELY IF HE NEEDS THEM. SHE SAID SHE AGREED, AND GAVE ME NEW DOSAGES OF HIS CURRENT MEDS, SINCE THEN HE HAS BEEN AWAKE, LESS GROGGY, HE HAS PATIENCE, HE ISNT YELLING, HE SPENDS TIME WITH HIS DAUGHTER, YES HE IS STILL FORGETFULL, AND NO I DON'T THINK THIS IS A PERMANENT CURE, ITS A START THOUGH AND WE ARE OPEN FOR ANYTHING!!!!! MY ONLY WISH IS THAT THIS OTHER PSYCHIATRIST WAS TAKING NEW PATIENTS, BUT I GUESS HE IS GOING OUT OF TOWN FOR 4 MONTHS AND MY FRIEND THE ARNP II SHE IS NOT CONTRACTED WITH OUR INSURANCE!

MY BIGGEST FEAR IS WAKING UP ONE MORNING AND FINDING HIM DEAD, AND AFTER THIS LAST WEEK IT WAS ALMOST A REALITY. WE CANNOT AFFORD FOR HIM TO GO TO THE OUTPATIENT TREATMENTS AT THE PSYCH HOSPITAL, HOWEVER IF HE IS BAKER ACTED FOR 72 HOURS OUR INSURANCE PAYS 100%

I am in overload mode... see I have proof now!

Take the test and see what you score lets see how much crap we have in our brains!

Your Mind is 70% Cluttered

Your mind is quite cluttered. And like most clutter, it's a bunch of crap you don't need. Try writing down your worst problems and fears. And then put them out of your mind for a while.

How Cluttered is Your Mind?

HOW MUCH EVIL WILL YOU ADMIT TOO?

You Are 32% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

HUSBAND ISSUES that turn to family issues...

My Husband went to his psychiatrist yesterday and they did a major overhaul of his medication. Took him off of his Lithium, Changed the way he takes is Seroquel to 100mg in AM and 200 mg @ Night, added Paxil 20mg for one week the up to 40mg, kept the Klonopin 2 mg three times a day and added Depakote 500 ER for 7 days then increase to Depakote 1000 ER @ bedtime.. Price of all this...Who knows, will it help? who knows? is he driving me crazy with him, More than likley. Oh and he is starting a Daily Therapy Program @ psych hospital 9am -12p M-F They supposedly pick him up and drop him off which is good because I dont know how he will drive on this change in his meds. Doctors just seem to think that they can play with this drug and that drug until maybe ONE LUCKY FUCKING day they find the right Combo, meanwhile The person they are screwing with could have lost their job, house, family.. Do they care? No they usually have bitch receptionist who roll their eyes at you and say "you'll have to wait until you see him next time" Some times I want to reach through the phone and grab her by her pencil neck and rip her through the phone line and bash her face in, or I would love to knock that headpiece off of her head when we are in the office. Well I feel a little better for venting, now if someone could just get into my head and figure out what the hell is wrong with me, I could sleep 24 hours a day 7 days a week, I am missing my daughter grow up, I feel like I should have never became a mother. And when I mention any of this to my mom, she says the same old thing " It will get better, you've got to wait for the medication to work" does she think I dont know this I am a nurse, I deal with med effectiveness and half-lifes all the time. But I guess its just her friendly loving way of trying to make me feel better. Well I am going to get off this thing and take a pain pill my whole body aches.